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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Live now on Reddit:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Trending via Twitch:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Funny paramedic quotes

Funny paramedic quotes 🚑💉 bring a dose of laughter to the high-stress world of emergency care! From hilarious mishaps to witty one-liners, these gems capture the lighter side of saving lives. Whether you’re a frontline hero or just love a good laugh, get ready to smile and appreciate the humor behind the adrenaline rush! 😂🔥 #ParamedicLife #EmergencyLaughs

New funny paramedic quotes 👇

All funny paramedic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

37 shares on Telegram this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

43 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

22 shares on Slack this month:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Broadcasted on X:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Going viral on TikTok:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Spotted on Facebook:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

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