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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has viewed:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Slack:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Spotted on Twitch:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Spotted on Threads:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Seen just now on Slack:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Spotted on Threads:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Going viral on Facebook:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Just shared via Reddit:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Funny paramedic quotes

Funny paramedic quotes πŸš‘πŸ’‰ bring a dose of laughter to the high-stress world of emergency care! From hilarious mishaps to witty one-liners, these gems capture the lighter side of saving lives. Whether you’re a frontline hero or just love a good laugh, get ready to smile and appreciate the humor behind the adrenaline rush! πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯ #ParamedicLife #EmergencyLaughs

New funny paramedic quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny paramedic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has shared:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

There is no β€˜we’ in β€˜food’.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has downloaded:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has shared:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has copied:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Going viral on Telegram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Going viral on Instagram:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Going viral on Reddit:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Just shared via Threads:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Trending via WeChat:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Breaking via Threads:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Trending via Facebook:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

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