36 Funny performance quotes

• Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

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  5 hours ago

  entertainment, every, humor, i, moan, moaning, music, neighbor, neighbors, pause, performance, rate, rating, sound, start, time

• I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

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  18 hours ago

  dance, hand, hands, humor, i, jazz, jazz hand, just, let, performance, self-expression, speak, think

• All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

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  1 day ago

  acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world

• This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

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  3 weeks ago

  acting, bit, fake, humor, i, joke, life, method, method acting, none, performance, real, role-playing, work, working, year

• I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

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  2 months ago

  alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish

• And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick

• An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  2 months ago

  asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

• My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

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  2 months ago

  always, bathroom, concert, hold, humor, i, long shower, performance, procrastination, routine, shower, showers, singing, take

• I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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  2 months ago

  activity, bar, entertainment, every, fun, fun activity, going, humor, karaoke, music, ono, parody, performance, sing, singing, song, style, tomorrow, where, yoko, Yoko Ono

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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  2 months ago

  abandoned, abandoned quarry, boss, evaluation, funny situation, humor, me, meet, meeting, midnight, odd, odd request, performance, performance evaluation, quarry, request, situation, told, unusual, unusual meeting, work, work humor

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