35 Funny performance quotes

• I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

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  2 months ago

  alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish

• And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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  2 months ago

  dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick

• An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  2 months ago

  asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

• My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

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  2 months ago

  always, bathroom, concert, hold, humor, i, long shower, performance, procrastination, routine, shower, showers, singing, take

• I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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  2 months ago

  activity, bar, entertainment, every, fun, fun activity, going, humor, karaoke, music, ono, parody, performance, sing, singing, song, style, tomorrow, where, yoko, Yoko Ono

• Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

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  2 months ago

  abandoned, abandoned quarry, boss, evaluation, funny situation, humor, me, meet, meeting, midnight, odd, odd request, performance, performance evaluation, quarry, request, situation, told, unusual, unusual meeting, work, work humor

• Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

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  2 months ago

  art, better, emotion, express, expression, grief, harmonica, humor, man, melancholy, music, pain, performance

• You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

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  2 months ago

  dancing, expression, fake, hand, hands, humor, jazz, jazz hand, performance, smile

• Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

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  2 months ago

  cookie, humor, performance, self-deprecation, tech, tech humor, website

• Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

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  2 months ago

  awkwardness, funny moment, humor, just, karaoke, moment, motionless, panther, performance, pink, Pink Panther, song, stage, standing, theme, theme song, time

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