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24 Funny performance quotes

New funny performance quotes 👇

  • Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you lemons, trade them for a harmonica and start your own blues band! 🎶😂🍋”

  • You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

    Commentary:
    🎶 “You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.” 🤗✨ Because let’s face it, while smiling might be easy, those jazz hands require a whole different level of commitment and pizzazz! Time to bring out your inner Broadway star and jazz-hand your way through life! 💃🕺🎭

  • Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘I also perform better with cookies’ response – a true testament to the power of sweet treats in boosting performance, both online and off! Who knew that the key to success lay in a delicious batch of cookies? 🍪💻”

  • Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

    Commentary:
    🎶🎶 “And now, presenting the next karaoke sensation… someone who takes ‘Pink Panther’ quite literally! 🐾 This performance is so smooth, you might mistake it for a cat burglar! 😹 Just watch out for the mysterious charm and the stealthy moves… or lack thereof! 🎶🎵 #KaraokeGoals”

  • Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

    Commentary:
    “Apparently, my role as ‘Expert Procrastinator’ didn’t quite make the cut! 🎭🚫 No nomination, no speech, just another day in the ‘Best Supporting Sighs’ category of life! 😅🏆 #OscarSnubbed”

  • Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

    Commentary:
    🥁💥 Just drumming away the haters like Phil Collins drums through that iconic drum break in ‘In The Air Tonight’! 🥁🎶 Who needs negativity when you’ve got killer air-drumming skills to show off, right? 😉 Keep rockin’ it, and don’t let the haters stop your epic solo! 🤘 #DrummingThroughTheDrama

  • Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

    Commentary:
    “Alcohol: the original performance-enhancing elixir – unless you count stumbling and slurred speech as top-tier talents! 🍹🙃 #DrinkResponsibly”

  • Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

    Commentary:
    Oh, so it’s news that bands release songs? 🤷‍♂️ Next they’ll be surprising us with concerts and albums! 🎶😂 It’s a tough life being a rockstar, always keeping us on our toes with those unexpected songs! 🎸🎤 #BandLife

  • Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

    Commentary:
    “Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t be that person belting out your own remix while blocking everyone’s view with your phone! 🤳🎤 Let the professionals handle the tunes – you focus on enjoying the show! 🎶😆”

  • The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

    Commentary:
    Looks like that flight had some unexpected in-flight entertainment! 🥁😅 Let’s hope the little drummer didn’t keep a beat going when it came time to sleep 😴🛫.

For even more funny performance quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny performance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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