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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Spotted on Discord:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going viral on Threads:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Trending via WhatsApp:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Reported on TikTok:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Live now on Discord:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Going viral on Threads:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Trending via Snapchat:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Seen just now on X:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Making waves on Facebook:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

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