Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Commentary:
"Who needs pots and pans when you have speed dial? 🍔📞 Let's cook up some delivery dreams instead!"
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Oh, the kingly art of choosing the slowest checkout line—truly a Jedi master level skill! 💁‍♂️⏳ May your patience be everlasting, and your groceries never wilt in the wait! 🛒😅 #ChampionOfCheckoutChaos"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of strategic laziness! Just casually lounging around while battles line up to choose you. 🛋️⚔️ Who knew procrastination could be so empowering? 😄 #LazyStrategies"
6 months ago
Share →: Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Commentary:
"Stop playing the blame game with everyone and their grandma! 🙄 Instead, channel your inner drama llama and pick that one special person you absolutely love to hate and let the blame fest begin! Just remember, it's all fun and games until karma shows up for a tea party! ☕️😏"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Commentary:
"Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Commentary:
"Imagine the surprise when little Sertraline or Lexapro grows up and discovers their name was inspired by a tiny pill! 😂 Talk about a prescription for uniqueness! 💊👶 #PharmaBabyNames"
6 months ago
Share →: I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Commentary:
Looks like dad's got those dad jokes down pat! 🤣 But hey, at least it's a wholesome punchline! 🤷‍♂️ #DadJokesForDays
6 months ago
Share →: I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Commentary:
"Being around tall people gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'getting a leg up'! 🦵👀 If they ever try to lift you up, just pretend you're part of a trust fall exercise gone wrong! 😂 #ShortPeopleProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Commentary:
Looks like the magician's trick backfired – now he'll have to enjoy a splurge on his own dime! 💳😄 Remember, always read the fine print before using magic for financial gain! ✨
6 months ago
Share →: The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Commentary:
"Who knew exercise could be this challenging? 🚲💪 Next, they'll ask us to plank while spinning! 🔁😂 #GymProblems"