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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2022 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,184

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,184

39 seconds ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Just landed via YouTube:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Spotted on Discord:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Avocado is just green butter.

Trending via Snapchat:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Trending via Facebook:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Home » Funny Pilot Quotes

Funny pilot quotes

Funny pilot quotes 🛫 bring the sky-high humor you never knew you needed! Whether you’re a frequent flyer or just love aviation ✈️, these witty lines will have you laughing all the way to cruising altitude 😂. Ready to soar through some clever cockpit comedy? Buckle up and enjoy the ride—laughter is cleared for takeoff! 🚀🌤️

New funny pilot quotes 👇

10 hours ago
Share →: Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Commentary:
Looking at pilots strut through the airport like they're in their own personal action movie 😂✈️🕶️
3 weeks ago
Share →: Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Commentary:
"Guess there are some real flying limits! 😂✈️ #SkyHighExpectations"
6 months ago
Share →: I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Commentary:
"Oh, the struggle of adjusting to life at ground level after soaring through the skies 🚗✈️ Pilots must feel like they're missing that 'up' button every time they hit the road! 😂 #GroundedPilot"
6 months ago
Share →: If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Commentary:
Looks like the pilot's in for some impromptu sightseeing if you choose a marathon movie! ✈️🎬 Just imagine them circling the skies, wondering why they're suddenly on a prolonged scenic tour instead of landing on time. Maybe they'll even have time for a snack break at cruising altitude! 🍿✈️
6 months ago
Share →: Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's clapping career just took a nosedive! 👏✈️😱 #ClapFail"

For even more funny pilot quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pilot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2022 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,184

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,184

39 seconds ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Trending via X:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on Slack:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Just shared via Instagram:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Trending via Slack:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Making waves on X:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

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