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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Just shared via Reddit:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Spotted on Twitch:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just shared via Telegram:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Just landed via Facebook:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

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