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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Just landed via X:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Spotted on Reddit:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Going viral on YouTube:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

15 Funny pregnant quotes

Funny pregnant quotes bring a hilarious twist to the ups and downs of pregnancy 🤰😂 From unexpected cravings to quirky mood swings, these gems capture all the laughs along the journey! Whether you’re glowing or growing (or both!), get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little as you embrace the chaos and joy of becoming a parent 🎉👶✨

New funny pregnant quotes 👇

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

14 hours ago

advice, fine, girl, going, going through, humor, pregnancy, pregnant, reassurance, right, situation, through, whatever
Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

3 weeks ago

dear, financial, financial humor, humor, money, please, pregnant, wallet, wish
I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

3 weeks ago

bad, family, fear, feel, getting, grandkid, grandkids, hope, humor, i, me, never, parent, parenting, parents, pregnancy, pregnant, proud, scare, scare tactic, scared, tactic, teenager
Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

2 months ago

cycle, frustration, health, hour, humor, joke, just, last, leave, menstruation, period, point, pregnancy, pregnant, time, why, women’s, women’s health
Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

2 months ago

1, 2, being, contradiction, fear, fears, humor, infertility, pregnancy, pregnant, worst, worst fear
Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

2 months ago

back, color, colour, everyone, favorite, favourite, getting, married, pregnant
Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

2 months ago

celebrity, dicaprio, girlfriend, gossip, humor, joke, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, next, pregnant, right, woman
Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

2 months ago

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking
Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

2 months ago

body, body sensation, dinosaur, embarrassment, fart, feels, holding, humor, joke, pregnancy, pregnant, sensation
I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

2 months ago

adulthood, age, expectations, forgetfulness, forgetting, humor, i, keep, me, people, positive, pregnancy, pregnant, reaction, social, social expectations, tell, where

For even more funny pregnant quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pregnant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

12 shares on Threads this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

11 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

74 shares on Slack this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Just landed via TikTok:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Trending via Discord:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Spreading quickly via X:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Live now on Twitch:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

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