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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,002

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Trending via Discord:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Just landed via Instagram:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

14 Funny pregnant quotes

Funny pregnant quotes bring a hilarious twist to the ups and downs of pregnancy 🤰😂 From unexpected cravings to quirky mood swings, these gems capture all the laughs along the journey! Whether you’re glowing or growing (or both!), get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little as you embrace the chaos and joy of becoming a parent 🎉👶✨

New funny pregnant quotes 👇

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

0

3 hours ago

bad, family, fear, feel, getting, grandkid, grandkids, hope, humor, i, me, never, parent, parenting, parents, pregnancy, pregnant, proud, scare, scare tactic, scared, tactic, teenager
Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

0

2 months ago

cycle, frustration, health, hour, humor, joke, just, last, leave, menstruation, period, point, pregnancy, pregnant, time, why, women’s, women’s health
Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

0

2 months ago

1, 2, being, contradiction, fear, fears, humor, infertility, pregnancy, pregnant, worst, worst fear
Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

0

2 months ago

back, color, colour, everyone, favorite, favourite, getting, married, pregnant
Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, dicaprio, girlfriend, gossip, humor, joke, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, next, pregnant, right, woman
Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

0

2 months ago

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking
Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

body, body sensation, dinosaur, embarrassment, fart, feels, holding, humor, joke, pregnancy, pregnant, sensation
I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, expectations, forgetfulness, forgetting, humor, i, keep, me, people, positive, pregnancy, pregnant, reaction, social, social expectations, tell, where
I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

0

2 months ago

3, bad, craving, desire, dollars, humor, i, joke, know, million, money, pregnant, wealth
If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

0

2 months ago

announcement, change, changing, conversation, family, holiday, humor, politics, pregnancy, pregnant, subject, subject change, talking, Thanksgiving

For even more funny pregnant quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pregnant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

45 shares on Threads this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Just shared via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Trending via Twitch:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Going viral on Slack:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Live now on Reddit:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Trending via Twitch:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Live now on Pinterest:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Coffee is just goth water.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴