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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

31 seconds ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Trending via Facebook:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Going viral on TikTok:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Making waves on Telegram:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Spotted on Discord:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Going viral on WeChat:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Trending via Facebook:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

31 seconds ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Reported on Slack:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Going viral on Discord:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Going viral on Facebook:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Just shared via Telegram:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

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