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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Breaking via Telegram:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Going viral on Reddit:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Just landed via Instagram:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Just shared via Reddit:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Trending via X:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

83 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Seen just now on Telegram:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on TikTok:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

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