Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: “Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Are you ok?' question – the ultimate setup for a comedic response. 'Of course not. Next question!' – a perfect blend of honesty and sass. It's like a verbal eye-roll followed by a mic drop. Bravo to whoever came up with that gem!"
5 months ago
Share →: In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old job interview strategy: when in doubt, just channel your inner Jerry Maguire and profess your undying love for the interviewer. Who needs qualifications when you have romance on your side, right?"
5 months ago
Share →: You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Commentary:
🤣 "When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It's like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices"
5 months ago
Share →: Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Commentary:
"Person: *showering me with compliments* Me: Hold on, let me just sprinkle a little reality on this 🌧️💁‍♂️ #HumbleBragging"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Commentary:
🌋 Sorry I missed your call! 🔥 I saw your name popping up and thought, "Better make a sacrifice to the volcano gods!" 📵 Hope my phone call to Mother Nature was worth it! 🤣 #VolcanoLife
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Commentary:
"Next time someone questions if your dog is adopted, hit 'em with that 'biologically mine' sass! 🐾 Don't mess with the paw-sonalities in this pack! 🤣 #FurReal #DoggyDNA"
6 months ago
Share →: I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but 'any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am' is a lifestyle choice! 😂⏰ Embracing that early riser energy like a pro! 🌅 #MorningPersonGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: adding a touch of historical flair to your work emails just might earn you a promotion, or at the very least, confuse your colleagues in the best way possible. 🤓💼 #WorkplaceRevolution"
6 months ago
Share →: I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Commentary:
Oh dear, did my telepathic carrier pigeon get lost en route to your brain? 🧐🕊️ Don't worry, I've upgraded to sending messages via psychic owls now. 🦉 Hopefully, they'll reach you in time for our next séance! 🔮😄
6 months ago
Share →: Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Commentary:
"Who needs a designated panic room when you've got me around – turning any room into a panic room in just seconds! 💥😱 Just add a dash of chaos and a sprinkle of my presence, and voilà – instant panic mode activated! 🚨😅"