Funny retire quotes

• Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

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  3 days ago

  anyone, board, board game, encyclopedia, game, game night, night, nostalgia, old fashioned, play, pursuit, retire, retired, retired game, trivia, trivial, Trivial Pursuit

• Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

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  4 days ago

  always, aspiration, childhood, ever, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, little, retire, wanted

• I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

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  4 days ago

  acceptance, day, funeral, humor, job, never, retire, using, vacation, vacation day, work, working

• I must retire to my chambers about this.

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  4 days ago

  chamber, formal, formal language, humor, i, language, old fashioned, remark, retire, witty, witty remark

• I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

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  4 days ago

  appointment, doctor, doctors, humor, i, just, medical, medical appointment, retire, retirement, said, travel, trip, unexpected, unexpected trip

• I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

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  5 days ago

  6, am, around, delay, drive, driving, early, early morning, humor, i, late, leisure, morning, retire, retirement, slow, slow drive, tardiness, wait, work, work delay

• When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

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  5 days ago

  ambition, career, election, going, humor, i, joke, office, politics, retire, retirement, run

• Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

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  2 weeks ago

  401k, advice, bank, check, email, financial, financial advice, humor, know, money, reality, reality check, retire, retirement, sarcasm, saying

• Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

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  2 weeks ago

  age, fat, humor, life, money, move, move on, poor, quit, retire, too, young

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