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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

2 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Just landed via Slack:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Seen just now on Discord:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Going viral on Slack:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Spotted on Slack:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Making waves on WeChat:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Shared recently on Reddit:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Home » Funny Roles Quotes

Funny roles quotes

New funny roles quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

…

Commentary:
"Yeah, he's just really dedicated to the cause of *social* media justice! 😂📢 #AllyOrAddicted?"
2 months ago
Share →: I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Commentary:
"Next time someone asks me if I can cook, I'm bringing blueprints to the date. 🏡👷‍♀️🍳"
2 months ago
Share →: If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Commentary:
"When a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. When a husband speaks without his wife around… the sound is 'just kidding!'" 😅🌲🗣️
5 months ago
Share →: The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁‍♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Commentary:
🎶 Sounds like your kids have taken over as the DJs at home! 🎧 Maybe it's time to trade in your "Parent DJ" badge for a "Music Volume Supervisor" one! 🔊 Embrace the new hierarchy – rock on, little ones! 🤘
6 months ago
Share →: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Commentary:
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and secretly plotting her takeover 😏💁‍♀️ Who said women don't have superpowers? 💪👀"

For even more funny roles quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny roles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

2 minutes ago

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Just shared via Snapchat:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Spotted on TikTok:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Just landed via TikTok:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Spreading quickly via X:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

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