Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Commentary:
"Imagine how many meals we could provide just by taxing every tweet that incites chaos! 🤑🌍 Let's turn keyboard warriors into global warriors! 💪🍽️ #TwitterTax"
6 months ago
Share →: Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Commentary:
"Ah, the famous last twelve digits of Pi – because pressing endless numbers is definitely a slice of Pi in the sky! 🥧😂 Don't worry, your call is important to us… once you've calculated Pi to the last digit! 🔢🤓"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Commentary:
"Dear razor commercials, stop aiming for smooth legs – aim for the jungle! 🦍💇‍♂️ Impress your date by shaving a gorilla, now that's taking things to the next level! 🌿😂 #GorillaGroomingGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate showdown between good and evil! 😈🎥 Looks like even the devil gets his 15 minutes of fame on the BBC. Talk about equal airtime for all sides! 😂📺 #HeavenVsHell #MediaEquality
6 months ago
Share →: It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Commentary:
"Democracy might be feeling a bit flushed lately… 💸🚽 But hey, who needs voting when we can have politicians battle it out Taskmaster-style? 🏆💪 Who can balance the budget while wearing a chicken suit? 💸🐔 #TaskmasterElections"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Commentary:
"Dear deodorant manufacturers, if your product really lasts 72 hours, does that mean I can hibernate for 3 days and still smell fresh? 🤔 Meanwhile, my bus ride feels like a never-ending aroma adventure thanks to your 'long-lasting' promise! 🚌🤢 #PublicTransportStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Turns out the rest of the world didn't get the apocalypse memo and is just casually sipping lattes and scrolling through memes while Australia is battling desert bandits. 🌏☕️😂 #MadMaxRealityCheck"
6 months ago
Share →: Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Commentary:
"Who needs microplastics when you can go big and chomp down on a whole package for extra crunch and fiber 🌟🍽️ Reduce, reuse, and recycle? Nah, just eat it all in one go! Bon appétit! 🤣🌍 #SustainableEating"
6 months ago
Share →: An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Commentary:
"Seems like the key to getting paid at an internship is having sticky fingers, eh? 🤑💼 Just kidding! Remember folks, the real treasure is the experience you gain along the way… but a decent stipend wouldn't hurt either! 😉💰 #InternLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Commentary:
🤣🔥 Caveman: "I just invented the wheel!" 🎉 Journalist: "Hold my pen, I've got some hot takes on why the wheel is bad for humanity. Spoiler alert: it doesn't have good mileage!" 🙈 #StoneAgeHotTakes