Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔
156 Funny single quotes
I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.
Commentary:
Dating: the only time stomach butterflies are both romantic and a symptom of illness 🤦♀️🦋
Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?
Commentary:
Sounds like a full-time job with no benefits! 😂🤦♀️ #OverworkedAndUnderpaid
Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.
Commentary:
Ah, the sacred cup of continuity—may it stand as a noble monument to my eventual return and inevitable procrastination 🍵🏛️😂
It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.
Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing signing on is my patience! 😂🔑🔄
There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.
Commentary:
Time to trade my 9-5 for a future where I'm known as the legendary couch potato 🛋️✨ #Priorities
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?
Commentary:
Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦♂️💔
Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”
Commentary:
Waiting for that romantic teleportation while still in my pajamas! 😂🛋️💫
Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.
Commentary:
Guess the hot chocolate won the battle against 'snowkini' season! 🍫❄️👙
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.
Commentary:
Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️