154 funny single quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

May 25, 2026

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

May 25, 2026

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

May 25, 2026

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

May 25, 2026

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

May 24, 2026

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

May 24, 2026

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

May 24, 2026

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

May 24, 2026

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

May 24, 2026

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

May 24, 2026

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

May 24, 2026

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

May 23, 2026

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

May 23, 2026

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

May 23, 2026

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

May 23, 2026

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

May 23, 2026

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

May 23, 2026

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

May 23, 2026

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

May 23, 2026

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

May 23, 2026

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

May 23, 2026

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

May 23, 2026

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

May 23, 2026

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

May 23, 2026

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

May 23, 2026

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

May 23, 2026

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

May 23, 2026

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

May 23, 2026

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

May 23, 2026

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

May 22, 2026

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

May 22, 2026

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

May 22, 2026

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

May 22, 2026

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

May 22, 2026

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

May 22, 2026

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

May 22, 2026

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

May 22, 2026

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

May 22, 2026

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

May 22, 2026

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

May 22, 2026