154 funny single quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

May 20, 2026

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

May 19, 2026

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

May 19, 2026

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

May 19, 2026

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

May 19, 2026

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

May 19, 2026

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

May 19, 2026

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

May 19, 2026

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

May 19, 2026

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

May 19, 2026

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

May 19, 2026

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

May 19, 2026

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

May 18, 2026

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

May 18, 2026

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

May 18, 2026

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

May 18, 2026

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

May 18, 2026

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

May 6, 2026

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Apr 2, 2026

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Apr 1, 2026

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Apr 1, 2026

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Apr 1, 2026

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Apr 1, 2026

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Apr 1, 2026

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Apr 1, 2026

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Apr 1, 2026

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Apr 1, 2026

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Apr 1, 2026

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Apr 1, 2026

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Apr 1, 2026

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Apr 1, 2026

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Mar 31, 2026

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Mar 31, 2026