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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Going viral on YouTube:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Making waves on Messenger:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Just landed via Discord:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Breaking via Threads:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Live now on Snapchat:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Breaking via Snapchat:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

519 Funny someone quotes

Funny someone quotes bring the humor to those moments when someone else’s actions (or lack thereof) leave you speechless! 😅🙄 Whether it’s a friend’s questionable decision or that one person who always knows how to push your buttons, these quotes show that sometimes all you need is a good laugh at *someone* else’s expense. 😂🤦‍♂️💬

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

27 shares on X this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

62 shares on Slack this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

100 shares on Discord this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Breaking via TikTok:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Going viral on Messenger:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Breaking via Threads:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Spotted on Discord:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Making waves on Discord:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Live now on Facebook:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

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