327 Funny someone quotes

More funny someone quotes 👇

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  2 months ago

  View →: What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?
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  2 months ago

  View →: You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?
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  3 months ago

  View →: You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.
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  3 months ago

  View →: That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.
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  3 months ago

  View →: People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.
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  3 months ago

  View →: We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
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  3 months ago

  View →: It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!
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  3 months ago

  View →: Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!
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  3 months ago

  View →: When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
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  3 months ago

  View →: You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.
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  3 months ago

  View →: That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

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