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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2404 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,566

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,566

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Making waves on X:

Cool times create cool guys.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Making waves on Slack:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Live now on TikTok:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Breaking via X:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2404 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,566

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,566

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Just shared via Slack:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Seen just now on Twitch:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Trending via Twitch:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

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