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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Trending via Twitch:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Shared recently on Slack:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Just shared via Instagram:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Breaking via Messenger:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Going viral on X:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Just shared via Messenger:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Just shared via WeChat:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Making waves on Reddit:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Seen just now on X:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Trending via Messenger:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Just landed via Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

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