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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Trending via Instagram:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Reported on WeChat:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Live now on Facebook:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Just shared via TikTok:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Going viral on Slack:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Spotted on Threads:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Trending via Facebook:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

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