Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Commentary:
"Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy"
6 months ago
Share →: Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Commentary:
"Oh, opportunity certainly has a knack for showing up at the most inconvenient times, doesn't it? 🕰️ Maybe it's trying to keep us on our toes or maybe it just has a twisted sense of humor! 😅 Just remember, when opportunity knocks, you better answer, even if you're in your pajamas! 🚪💼"
6 months ago
Share →: Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Commentary:
"Taking a nap is like playing sleep roulette 🎲💤 Will you wake up rejuvenated and ready to conquer the world, or find yourself in a panic surrounded by angry messages? It's a risky game, but oh so tempting! Proceed with caution and maybe set an extra loud alarm just in case 😉⏰"
6 months ago
Share →: When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'joke rescue operation' strategy! 🚨 When one-liners crash-land, deploy the backup puns for that extra turbo boost of laughter 😂. Who knew bombing could be so entertaining? 💣✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Commentary:
🌅 "Sunrises are like that one friend who shows up unannounced at 5 a.m… You appreciate the beauty, but maybe next time, can we have it at a more reasonable hour? 😆 #TooEarlyForThis"
6 months ago
Share →: We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Commentary:
Well, considering how fast gossip spreads faster than the speed of light in the landlord world, I'd say give it about 10 seconds 😂🕰️🏘️ Good luck with your speedy home-selling escapades!
$Funny timing quotes - I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.$

6 months ago
Share →: I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Commentary:
"Looks like time traveling into the past is the only option for that second job to actually save the day! 🔮⏱️💸 #TimeIsMoneyGone"
6 months ago
Share →: Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ancient art of delayed communication! 📬🕰️ Who needs instant replies when you can savor the anticipation like a fine wine? 🍷 Let's bring back the thrill of waiting for a text response – it's like a digital game of hide and seek! 🙈📱 #PatienceIsAVirtue"
6 months ago
Share →: I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Commentary:
Looks like the universe had its cosmic stopwatch out, tapping its celestial foot impatiently as it waited for you to make your move! 🌌⏱️ Don't keep the cosmos waiting next time, it's got galaxies to attend to! 🚀🌠
6 months ago
Share →: They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between punctuality and perfection! 🕰️⏳ Who has the time to be punctual when you're busy crafting greatness? 😄 Better late with flair than early and bland, am I right? ⏰🤷‍♂️"