95 Funny told quotes

• The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

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  1 week ago

  absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told

• I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

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  1 week ago

  boss, employee, found, Funny, gone, hr, humor, i, joke, joke gone wrong, management, office, tell, told, workplace, workplace humor, wrong

• The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

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  1 week ago

  child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told

• Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

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  1 week ago

  bed, excuse, i, laziness, let, me, needs, night, sleep, sorry, staying, staying in, told, tonight

• Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

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  1 week ago

  anyone, appreciate, attitude, being, fails, fun, humor, i, i told you so, joy, optimism, pessimism, pessimist, sarcasm, saying, told

• My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

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  1 week ago

  advice, always, anything, communication, conversation, conversationalist, humor, me, mother, much, nice, nothing, say, silence, told, witty

• So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

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  1 week ago

  1, call, communication, cultural, cultural difference, difference, English, got, humor, i, language, me, phone, phone call, prank, press, said, telemarketer, told, understand

• No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

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  1 week ago

  adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told

• Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

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  1 week ago

  chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day

• My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

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  1 week ago

  asked, day, eat, family, food, holiday, home, humor, i, joke, me, meal, mom, mother, relationship, sarcasm, taking, told, where

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