Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Going viral on Twitch:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Seen just now on Slack:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Funny Tom & Jerry quotes

Funny Tom & Jerry quotes bring a dose of humor from the classic cartoon duo. 🐱😆 From clever jabs at their endless chase to witty remarks about their zany antics, these quotes capture the timeless comedy of Tom and Jerry’s escapades. Dive into a world of laughs and relive the hilarity of this iconic pair! 🐱😆

New funny Tom & Jerry quotes 👇

All funny Tom & Jerry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

34 shares on X this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Just landed via WeChat:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

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