Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has shared:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has shared:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has shared:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Reddit:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Trending via YouTube:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Shared recently on X:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Spotted on Facebook:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish it were social acceptable to say β€œI don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Spotted on Pinterest:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Breaking via Slack:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Home Β» Funny Tonight Quotes Β» Page 3

24 Funny tonight quotes

More funny tonight quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny tonight quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny tonight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

What if i just replied β€œnot now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

β€œYou let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has copied:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Facebook:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Seen just now on Threads:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Breaking via WeChat:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Trending via Pinterest:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Making waves on Slack:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Reported on TikTok:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Shared recently on X:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Share Wordgag πŸ™

Β© 2025. All fights retarded. πŸ€ͺ

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄