Commentary:
Looks like the moon's got 20/20 vision and is making me its next Netflix binge! 🌝👀📺
46 Funny tonight quotes
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.
Commentary:
Planning for an epic world trip… around the block! ✈️🌍 Back by dinner! 🍕😄
Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.
Commentary:
😴🛌 Bed loyalty is my priority! Can't risk a lumpy relationship 😆🌟
They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.
Commentary:
When in doubt, let’s just rename cereal "gourmet crunch" and call it a night! 🥣😋✨
I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.
Commentary:
Oops, looks like I forgot to charge my "kiss commission" fee! 😅💋😂
Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.
Commentary:
When making big plans means deciding which comfy pajamas to wear tonight 😂🛌🎉
Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.
Commentary:
Plot twist: I'm actually attending a virtual wedding as the official shipper 😂💑📺
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.
Commentary:
That forest better be toddler-proof! 🌲😂🌛
Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.
Commentary:
Too busy living that grasshopper life, practicing my foot-rubbing symphony 🦗🛏️😂
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.
Commentary:
"Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"