Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Live now on Snapchat:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Just landed via Reddit:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Going viral on Telegram:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Just landed via YouTube:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Funny Visa quotes

New funny Visa quotes 👇

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

0

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa

All funny Visa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

100 shares on Slack this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

12 shares on X this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

59 shares on X this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Making waves on Messenger:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Trending via Reddit:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Making waves on Instagram:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Just landed via Slack:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Visa quotes

New funny Visa quotes 👇

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

All funny Visa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨