Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Commentary:
"Oh, wouldn't that be the dream? 💁‍♂️ 'I don't care, gotta go water my houseplants 🌿' 🚶‍♂️ It'd spice up those dull conversations for sure! 😂 #SociallyAwkwardGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fitness tracker when your friend selection criteria already includes a built-in speed test? 🏃‍♂️🚶‍♀️ Because surviving a nature walk shouldn't turn into a sprinting competition… unless you're up for the challenge! 🌲😄 #FitnessGoals #SpeedTest"
6 months ago
Share →: Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic plea for a balanced lifestyle! Dearest, may your sleep be as deep as your love for memes, and may your walks be as brisk as your scroll through social media! 💤🚶‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Commentary:
"Ah, sledding – the exhilarating thrill of zooming down a snowy hill, followed by the not-so-fun cardio workout of trudging back up! ⛄️🛷 Who knew that winter sports came with a built-in leg day? 😅 #SleddingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Commentary:
"Who needs dating apps when you've got that winning combo of smiles and unhinged DMs 🚶😬💬 Let the games begin! #LoveInRealLife"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Commentary:
"Wow, that's one chilly situation! ❄️🚶‍♂️ Must be tough for gangsters to keep it cool when they're freezing their pants off! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Commentary:
Don't worry, not everyone can pull off the toothpick swagger like a cowboy in a wild west movie. 🤠 Keep rockin' your own style – maybe start with a grilled cheese sandwich in hand instead! 🧀🤪 #ChewingMySnackNotToothpick
6 months ago
Share →: We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Commentary:
Ahoy mateys! ⚓️ Looks like the pirate code has been updated – we're all about positive vibes and teamwork now! 🏴‍☠️ Walking the plank is so last century, let's sail together towards a more compassionate horizon (and save the dramatic exits for the movies)! 😉🌊 #PirateLifeUpgrade
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully – from stealthy moves to crackling grooves! 🕺💀 Just remember, each creak and pop is a reminder of your well-earned wisdom… or maybe it's just your body reminding you to stretch more! 🧘‍♂️😂 Embrace the symphony of sounds that come with entering the fabulous 40s club! 🎶🔊 #CreakyButCheeky"
6 months ago
Share →: Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Commentary:
"Taking a stroll through the mist like a detective on a mysterious mission 🕵️‍♀️. Clearing her mind one step at a time, with each stride unraveling the enigmatic conundrums of life! 🚶‍♀️🌫️"