Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Commentary:
"Next time you receive an email starting with 'I hope this email finds you well,' just remember it's not about luck – it's about the email's impressive detective work! 🕵️‍♂️💌 #EmailNinja"
6 months ago
Share →: You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I don't believe you don't believe' move. It's like a philosophical mind twister! 🤯🤔 Who knew doubting beliefs could be so meta? 😄 #AtheistMindGames"
6 months ago
Share →: My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Commentary:
"Story of my life! 🍔🥞🍕 Who knew mornings could be so dangerous for diets? 😅 #DietFail"
6 months ago
Share →: Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless art of procrastination! 😄 Why be early when you can make a stylish entrance, right? ⏰🕰️ Just blame it on the 'foreseen circumstances' – aka hitting the snooze button a few too many times! 🛌💤 #FashionablyLate"
6 months ago
Share →: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert! 😅 Why do today what you can definitely, maybe do at some point in the future, right? 🤷‍♂️ Just add it to the never-ending to-do list! 😂 #ProcrastinationGoals
6 months ago
Share →: My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Commentary:
Looks like karma has an impeccable sense of humor and a flair for irony! 🤣 It seems your mini-me is embodying all your best (and perhaps some not-so-great) qualities. Just wait until they start mimicking your questionable dance moves and obscure movie references! 🕺📽️ Get ready for a front-row seat to the ultimate cosmic comedy show starring you and your little doppelgänger! 🌟👩‍👧‍
6 months ago
Share →: “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Commentary:
"Finally hitting the snooze button for eternity 💤⏰ Who says you can't sleep in peace? 🪦😴 #RestInEternalSnooze"
6 months ago
Share →: You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing says 'romance' quite like plotting together for a staged mishap! 💔😂 Who knew mischief could be so enticing? #LoveAtFirstConspiracy"
6 months ago
Share →: Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles