If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Commentary:
"Note to self: Bears are not fluffy cuddle buddies 🐻 Better stick to petting kittens next time, much safer and less likely to end up as a woodland creature's lunch! 😅"

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of why deer have such an affinity for playing chicken with cars 🚗🦌 Perhaps they're just trying to make a quick getaway from their daily woodland commute! 🌲😆"

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Commentary:
"Looks like the whales got their own fan club now! 🐋👏 Sorry regular fish, you'd better step up your game next time or face the boos! 🐟👎😂"

Most venomous snakes just make "Tsssss". But I know some that say "Hi".

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Commentary:
Looks like those snakes have been practicing their social skills 🐍👋 Who knew they were such chatty reptiles? Maybe they just need a friend to slither around with! #SnakeTalks #SocialSerpents

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Commentary:
Bigfoot must be thinking, "Hmm, cheeseburgers – the ultimate key to friendship with humans! 🍔👣 Who knew my love for food would bring us together? Perhaps we can start a 'Bigfoot Burger Club' now!" 😄🌳 #Bigfoot #CheeseburgerLover

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Commentary:
"Looks like the squirrels and rabbits are forming a 'Run Away From Humans' club 🏃🐿️🐇 Don't worry, they'll remember your face too. Just be prepared for some epic stares next time you cross paths! 😂 #WildlifeRevenge"

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Commentary:
Well, that's a new twist on the classic excuse! 🦌🔴 Who knew Rudolph's side hustle was causing traffic incidents? Just imagine the officer's confusion trying to write up that report! 😂 #UnlikelyExcuses

When you see a squirrel, you're bound to say, "Awww, a squirrel!"

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the majestic squirrel, nature's adorable acrobat! 🐿️ One glimpse and suddenly we turn into big mushy balls of 'aww'! 😍 Who can resist those bushy tails and their nutty antics? Life's just a little brighter with our furry little friends around! 🌰"

Everyone thinks they're brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Commentary:
"Bravery is all fun and games until you meet a determined goose on a mission! 🦢😂 #GooseGotMeShook"

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Commentary:
Living in a city where seagulls are the fashionably exclusive bird poop connoisseurs – a true sign of elite urban living! 💁‍♂️🏙️ Who needs mundane pigeon droppings when you can boast a splash of seaside sophistication? Embrace the unexpected blessings from above, darling! 💩🕊️ #CityLivingElevated