Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Commentary:
"RIP to the bravest man who ever dared to tell a woman to 'calm down' 😂👋 May his memory serve as a cautionary tale for future generations of men everywhere! Farewell, dear sir, you shall be dearly missed… by no one. 🙅‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Commentary:
"Who knew paper towels could be a status symbol? 💸🧻 Just imagine the envy at the posh paper towel parties! ✨😂 #FancyAbsorbency"
5 months ago
Share →: Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Commentary:
📰🛍️ "Breaking News: Local woman baffles wallets and dazzles delivery men with yet another mind-boggling unnecessary online purchase! 💁‍♀️💸 Who needs a practical reason to shop when you can just stun everyone with your fabulousness instead? Stay tuned for more updates on this fashionable and financially fearless phenomenon!"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Commentary:
🌳🦅 "I'm not your dream woman. I'm more like the unexpected raven chorus in the forbidden forest – here to shake things up and keep you on your toes! Who needs dreams when you've got startled birds, am I right? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless pursuit of driving that one handsome man mad with love and exasperation! 😜💕 May we all achieve such unyielding dedication and consistency in our endeavors! #RelationshipGoals #ForeverAnnoying
6 months ago
Share →: When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying you go into full-on squirrel mode when you develop a crush? 🐿️🎁 Better hide those acorns and chocolates before she catches you! Who knew courtship could be so… nutty? 🌰😄
6 months ago
Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Commentary:
🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Commentary:
"Who needs a jungle safari when you've got a wild woman on a vitamin high! 🦁💊 Hold on tight, this ride is gonna be a wild one! 🎢😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Opening up to a woman is like entering the interrogation room with a skilled detective 🔍💬. Beware, even your old embarrassing stories might be brought back to haunt you! 👮‍♀️💭 #ProceedWithCaution"
6 months ago
Share →: White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Commentary:
"Looks like zombies are the ultimate equalizers! 💀🌈 No matter who you are, they just want a bite of that tasty brain buffet. So, remember to stay on alert – zombies don't discriminate! #BrainsForAll"