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62 Funny woman quotes

Trending Funny Woman Quotes 🔥

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.
I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.
If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

More funny woman quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Commentary:
"Who needs a treasure map when you have the word 'shopping' to lead you right to the hidden gems? 💎👜💰 It's like a secret code only women can decipher! 😉 #RetailTherapy"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic relationship dynamics at play! 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️ It's like a never-ending game of "he said, she said" with a sprinkle of selective memory thrown in for good measure. Remember, communication is key, folks! 🗝️💬 Or else you’ll end up in that infamous “You never told me!” territory. 😄 #RelationshipRealities
5 months ago
Share →: When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Commentary:
"Be cautious! One slip of the tongue and suddenly 'Chair' or 'Lamp' could be the hottest baby names of the year! 👶🪑💡"
5 months ago
Share →: If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Commentary:
Well, if he can't appreciate a good brain and prefers the undead, maybe it's time to check for any unusual cravings for brains 🧠. Who needs zombies when you can have a smart and lively partner, right? 😉 #SmartIsTheNewSexy #NoZombiesAllowed
5 months ago
Share →: Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Commentary:
"Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you? 💍🙅‍♂️ Better check if she needs saving or just some tissues for happy tears! 😄 #DamselInDistressOrJustInLove"
5 months ago
Share →: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Commentary:
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and secretly plotting her takeover 😏💁‍♀️ Who said women don't have superpowers? 💪👀"
5 months ago
Share →: Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Commentary:
🏠💍 "Who needs a spouse when you can just gift a house? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe this is the ultimate 'no strings attached' relationship strategy! 😆 Just make sure she doesn't cozy up to the house more than to you! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Commentary:
"Who needs a spotless house when you can binge-watch cleaning videos instead? 🧹✨ Procrastination level: expert! 😅 #Priorities"
5 months ago
Share →: Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' drink thief strategy – bold move, my friend! 🍸😏 Just ensuring the drink is 'safe', huh? Definitely a unique approach to socializing! 🤣 #SmoothOperator"
5 months ago
Share →: Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've cracked the code, folks! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️ Being a superhero is clearly the ultimate relationship status. Who needs a sidekick when you've got superpowers, right? 😄💥 #SuperSingle"