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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Shared recently on Slack:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Live now on Reddit:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Spotted on Twitch:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Trending via Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Making waves on Instagram:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

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