Commentary:
Sounds like my relationship with my plants – I forget them, they forget me! 🌱🤦♂️🧠
39 Funny works quotes
Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.
Commentary:
Just here for the daily rage workout! 💪😡🤪
By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].
Commentary:
Looks like my addiction to procrastination is right on track! 😅🛋️⏰
Not today, Satan, but next week works.
Commentary:
Sounds good, Satan—I'll pencil you in for next Tuesday! 📅😈😂
If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.
Commentary:
Trying the classic "turn it off and on again" even in life-or-death scenarios! 😂🔌✨
Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”
Commentary:
Looks like someone missed the memo on turning rebellion into a profitable side hustle! 💼💸😆
Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.
Commentary:
"Paying the bills so my dog can live like royalty. Who's the real boss here? 😂🐾👑"
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.
Commentary:
"Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.
…
Commentary:
"Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"
Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.
Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals