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Oh, so God is out here playing 4D chess with your life plan, huh? 🤯 Maybe there's a divine purpose behind all these plot twists and turns – just roll with it, you might end up with a super cool story to tell! 🙏✨ #DivineComedyLivesOn

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I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

1 month ago

cooler, depression, diagnosis, health, humor, i, know, melancholia, mental, mental health, much
My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

1 month ago

attitude, boss, calm, give, humor, i, laziness, likes, pressure, sarcasm, shit, tell, work
You used to calm me on my cell phone!

1 month ago

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Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

2 months ago

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In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

1 month ago

affirmation, beautiful, confidence, humor, positivity, self-love, today
Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

1 month ago

actually, back, came, crazy, decision, grass, green, here, humor, i, looking, looks, observation, over

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

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Just landed via Pinterest:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Spotted on Facebook:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Breaking via Telegram:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Just landed via Twitch:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Just landed via Discord:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Just landed via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Breaking via YouTube:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

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God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

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God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

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