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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Going viral on Slack:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on X:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Going bananas on Facebook:

January: the Monday of months.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting life's unpredictable nature with a playful, quirky vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so God is out here playing 4D chess with your life plan, huh? 🤯 Maybe there's a divine purpose behind all these plot twists and turns – just roll with it, you might end up with a super cool story to tell! 🙏✨ #DivineComedyLivesOn

fate, God, gods, humor, life, me, plan, super, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Trending via Twitch:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Live now on WeChat:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Just shared via Messenger:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Going viral on Twitch:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Going viral on Slack:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Live now on Threads:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

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