Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newsp...

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Commentary:
"Having Twitter is like reading the newspaper, but instead of news, it's a chaotic bonfire of opinions where the writers are just waiting to roast you 🔥📰😅 #TwitterverseDrama"

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Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?
Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.
Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

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