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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

The one nice thing about your friendsโ€™ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has viewed:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Breaking via Telegram:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesnโ€™t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Live now on Threads:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The world is such a beautiful place when you donโ€™t think too hard about it or look around.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate whatโ€™s really important in life, so Iโ€™m back online.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isnโ€™t that dirty after all.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

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Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฎ Don't worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive! ๐ŸŒŸโœจ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

33 shares on Telegram this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFlyโ€™s family photo.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I donโ€™t get involved in anyoneโ€™s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

55 shares on Discord this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

16 shares on X this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I have friends in high places (birds).

55 shares on Telegram this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Iโ€™m not โ€œlateโ€, Iโ€™m just very creative with my interpretation of โ€œtimeโ€.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You canโ€™t hurt me. Youโ€™re not how I look first thing in the morning.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

First responders? You mean reply guys?

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If they played poker with potato chips, Iโ€™d have a gambling problem.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Losing weight in your 40โ€™s: LOL!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

โ€œLove is in the air.โ€ Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Twitch:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just because talking is for you doesnโ€™t mean that starting a podcast is.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Breaking via WeChat:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself โ€œdid I just run a red light?โ€

Shared recently on YouTube:

I donโ€™t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on Threads:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Just shared via Slack:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What doesnโ€™t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

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