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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2530 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,692

Funny Quotes Topics

15,357

Funny Quotes Images

12,692

4 minutes ago

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Broadcasted on Discord:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Reported on Snapchat:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Going viral on Facebook:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Just landed via Messenger:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Live now on LinkedIn:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Jan 20, 2025

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

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Commentary:
Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! 🤦‍♂️🔮 Don't worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive! 🌟✨

closed, good, good things, horoscope, humor, irony, optimism, repairs, store, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2530 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,692

Funny Quotes Topics

15,357

Funny Quotes Images

12,692

4 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Trending via Twitch:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Going viral on Threads:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Breaking via Telegram:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Spotted on Slack:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Just landed via TikTok:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

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