Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.
  • Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.
  • I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.
  • So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.
  • I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir
  • Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.