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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

5 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Trending via Telegram:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Just shared via Facebook:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Making waves on Messenger:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Breaking via Slack:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Jan 21, 2025

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, who needs a beach when you've got Costco's rotisserie chicken as your personal sun lamp? 🌞🍗 Who needs a tropical vacation when you can have a golden glow and a full stomach, all in one trip to the store? 😂 #CostcoChic"

Caribbean, chicken, Costco, food, humor, i, joke, rotisserie, rotisserie chicken, shopping, standing, sunbathing, tan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

5 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Trending via Pinterest:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Spotted on Slack:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Spotted on Slack:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Trending via TikTok:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Just landed via Twitch:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Trending via Threads:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Trending via TikTok:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

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