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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Trending via WeChat:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Making waves on Threads:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Trending via Messenger:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Just landed via WeChat:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

2 months ago

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the evolution of human laziness! Why break a sweat outdoors when you can conquer the almighty staircase in all its glory? 🧗‍♂️ Who needs the thrill of clinging to a cliff when you can bravely tackle the treacherous journey from the first floor to the second… and maybe even the third if you're feeling extra adventurous? 😂 Just remember, the real challenge isn't the climb itself but trying to look cool while doing it with your office bag

activity, climb, desire, funny perspective, humor, i, perspective, problem, problem-solving, rock, rock climb, solving, stairs, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

2 months ago

dream, ever, funny observation, humor, observation, phone, reason, sleep, technology, used
Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

2 months ago

date, deal, expiry, humor, i, patience, payback, ready, revenge, timing
If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

2 months ago

calm, calm down, complain, driving, hood, humor, least, road, safety, sarcasm, want
Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

2 months ago

attitude, chore, daily, daily chore, dishwasher, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, sarcasm, unloading
I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

2 months ago

annoyance, attitude, humor, i, laziness, people
Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

2 months ago

edge, email, finds, humor, me, sarcasm, unwell, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Going viral on TikTok:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just landed via YouTube:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Shared recently on X:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Making waves on TikTok:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Spotted on Facebook:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Making waves on Discord:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

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