Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.
  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
  • There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.
  • One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.
  • Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.
  • Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.