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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a garden when you have a shower terrarium?! 🌿🚿 Just add some rubber ducks and call it a spa day!"

cleaning, gorgeous, home, humor, i, maintenance, procrastination, shower, terrarium

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

1 month ago
always, cleaning, companionship, everyday, everyday life, humor, laundry, life, loneliness, support, think
Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

1 month ago
30, frustration, humor, short, sick, time, tired, weekend
Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

1 month ago
angry, baby, barking, crying, dog, humor, noise, pet, sound
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

2 months ago
awesome, coffee, day, going, humor, i, know, listen, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, self-awareness, today
Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

1 month ago
Earth, humor, inheriting, irony, know, meek, question, today
Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

1 month ago
diet, fill, gas, grocery, hack, money, spend, tank

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Going bananas on Threads:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

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I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

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I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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