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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Trending via Instagram:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Trending via Facebook:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Making waves on Threads:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew keeping your virginity could be such a winning streak? Looks like this person is the undefeated champion of abstinence!"

confidence, humor, joke, lose, lost, relationship, virginity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

0

2 days ago

another, communication, digital, digital life, entertainment, extend, hours, humor, Instagram, intended, let, life, media, message, notification, online, online communication, run, should, social, social media, story, Target, visibility
I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

0

2 months ago

brain, expectations, humor, i, imagination, love, relationship, romance, romantic, scenario, script
People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

0

2 months ago

answer, ask, crazy, honesty, humor, people, question, scared, yes
Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

0

2 months ago

chaos, confusion, gathering, humor, jumping, me, mental, mind, struggle, thought, thoughts
Nothing tops a plain pizza.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, nothing, pizza, plain, plain pizza, simple, simple food
I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

0

2 months ago

book, chapters, couple, creativity, humor, i, murder, mystery, only, plot, plot twist, sarcasm, twist, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

99 shares on Discord this month:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Trending via Threads:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Trending via Discord:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Going viral on Telegram:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Making waves on YouTube:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just landed via TikTok:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨