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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going bananas on X:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Freshly posted on X:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Spotted on Threads:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Trending via Telegram:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Going viral on Telegram:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Just shared via Telegram:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, the silent treatment has reached new levels 😂🤫 Who knew not interrupting could be taken so seriously! 🙊"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WeChat this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

81 shares on X this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire month could’ve been an email.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Shared recently on Slack:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Broadcasted on X:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Going viral on YouTube:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Live now on Twitch:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just shared via Twitch:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Going viral on X:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

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