Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,982

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Trending via YouTube:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Trending via YouTube:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Shared recently on Messenger:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Making waves on Discord:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Making waves on Instagram:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Just shared via Messenger:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Just landed via Threads:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

I hope this email kills us both.

2 months ago

0

I hope this email kills us both.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Subject: The Dreaded Email Monster 💌👹

"Ah, the infamous email of doom has arrived! 💀 Brace yourselves, my dear recipient, for this digital beast means business! 📧🔥 Will we survive the wrath of its unread notifications and overwhelming subject lines, or succumb to its deadly attachments? Stay strong, my friend, and may we meet again on the other side of the inbox abyss! 😂💻 #EmailNightmare"

both, communication, email, frustration, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, stress, us, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

0

2 months ago

bed, day, dream, humor, i, irony, laying, lazy, me, rich, wish
Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

0

2 months ago

bar, Binks, drinks, franchise, humor, opening, pub, pun, star, Star Wars, wars
Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence
I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

0

1 month ago

boomer, Boomers, ellipsis, everything, feels, gap, generation, generation gap, good, humor, i, style, text, texting, texting style, understand, why
Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep
Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

0

2 months ago

animals, ark, companionship, funny observation, humor, i, nature, Noah, observation, realization, realize

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

37 shares on X this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

30 shares on Threads this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

58 shares on Slack this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,035

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Just landed via Threads:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Spotted on TikTok:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Trending via WeChat:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

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