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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

22 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Just landed via Instagram:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Trending via Telegram:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Making waves on Messenger:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Making waves on Telegram:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Making waves on TikTok:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

I hope this email kills us both.

6 months ago

I hope this email kills us both.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Subject: The Dreaded Email Monster 💌👹

"Ah, the infamous email of doom has arrived! 💀 Brace yourselves, my dear recipient, for this digital beast means business! 📧🔥 Will we survive the wrath of its unread notifications and overwhelming subject lines, or succumb to its deadly attachments? Stay strong, my friend, and may we meet again on the other side of the inbox abyss! 😂💻 #EmailNightmare"

both, communication, email, frustration, hope, humor, i, sarcasm, stress, us, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share → : Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.
5 months ago
Share → : I put the dance in “Good riddance!”
6 months ago
Share → : We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.
6 months ago
Share → : Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.
2 weeks ago
Share → : Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.
6 months ago
Share → : Foo fighters still fighting foo.
5 months ago
Share → : No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.
4 months ago
Share → : Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

22 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Breaking via Threads:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Just landed via Discord:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Just shared via Telegram:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

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