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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

24 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Trending via Pinterest:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Spotted on Discord:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Making waves on Reddit:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

5 months ago

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚨 Breaking News Alert! 🚨 Just in: someone ordered a life alert bracelet… but not to alert for emergencies, oh no! This person is so prepared that they're getting ready for the life they *might* have someday. 😂 Who knows, maybe that bracelet will go off with confetti and cheers when the day finally comes! 🎉 #LivingMyBestAlarmistLife

alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, just, life, life alert, notification, notified, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

24 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Reported on Snapchat:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

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