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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Spotted on YouTube:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Just landed via YouTube:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just landed via Messenger:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Live now on Slack:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Just landed via Slack:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Playful text about longing for excited admiration, with a humorous 'Back to the Future' vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life's just not complete until you find someone who stares at you like Doc stares at a flux capacitor. ⚡️🤯 #RelationshipGoals #BackToTheFuture"

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

16 shares on Slack this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

24 shares on Slack this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

49 shares on X this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Trending via Reddit:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Just landed via Reddit:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Just shared via Discord:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Live now on Threads:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Trending via Slack:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

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