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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Going bananas on YouTube:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Making waves on Threads:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Making waves on Facebook:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about liking warm weather only up to a point, playful and humorous.

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Commentary:
"I like warm weather, but just enough to melt my worries away, not my face 🌞🤯 #HotMessExpress"

degree, humor, i, irony, only, preference, warm, weather

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84 shares on Messenger this month:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

45 shares on Slack this month:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Trending via Slack:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Just landed via X:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Making waves on Telegram:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Shared recently on Twitch:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Spotted on X:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Is losing your mind a hobby?

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Keep the laugh going 😂

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Is losing your mind a hobby?

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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