Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Annoying? Maybe. Narcissistic? Definitely not! 😜📵 Let's give credit where it's due – at least there's no endless stream of selfies hogging that lock screen real estate! 🤳 #SelfieFreeZone"

annoying, humor, i, lock, lock screen, phone, screen, self-image, selfie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

0

2 months ago

eyes, glasses, humor, hurt, i, irony, lady, lark, laugh, old, old lady, reading, unexpected, vision, wanted
I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

0

2 months ago

code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word
Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

1

2 weeks ago

blessing, contrast, dirty, dirty mind, face, having, humor, innocent, innocent face, mind, personality, truly
How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch
I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

0

2 months ago

court, humor, i, love, marriage, registry, relationship
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

0

4 months ago

chores, cleaning, cooking, fantasy, having, humor, man, men, once, relationship, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Just shared via Slack:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Live now on Telegram:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Shared recently on Threads:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Breaking via Discord:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨