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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Making waves on Telegram:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Just shared via Twitch:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Reported on Snapchat:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Annoying? Maybe. Narcissistic? Definitely not! 😜📵 Let's give credit where it's due – at least there's no endless stream of selfies hogging that lock screen real estate! 🤳 #SelfieFreeZone"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Live now on Facebook:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Live now on Pinterest:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Shared recently on Threads:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Making waves on Facebook:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Just landed via Messenger:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

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