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Commentary:
"Annoying? Maybe. Narcissistic? Definitely not! 😜📵 Let's give credit where it's due – at least there's no endless stream of selfies hogging that lock screen real estate! 🤳 #SelfieFreeZone"

annoying, humor, i, lock, lock screen, phone, screen, self-image, selfie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

0

2 months ago

comedy, crime, downtown, Downtown Stabby, humor, need, satire, show, stabby, television, true, true crime
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

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2 months ago

attention, child, comfort, humor, observation, parent, parenting
The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

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2 months ago

answer, being, calling, humor, i, number, people, phone, polls, reason, skepticism, trust, unknown, unknown number
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

0

2 months ago

advice, birthday, forget, forgetting, humor, just, marriage, never, relationship, sure, want, wife
I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

0

2 months ago

chewing, coworking, distraction, everyone, guy, guys, humor, job, office, office humor, pretty, space, sure, work, workplace
This meeting could have been a pajama party.

0

2 months ago

casual, fun, humor, meeting, pajama, party, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I put the mess in domestic.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I woke up alive again.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Going viral on Slack:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Live now on X:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Seen just now on X:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Just shared via Slack:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨