Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's TBR pile is so massive, they need a stint in jail just to make a dent! 📚🔒 Just imagine cozying up in a cell with a good book – now that's bookworm dedication! 📖😂"

activity, catch, catch up, humor, i, irony, jail, need, reading, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

0

4 weeks ago

5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth
At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, bingo, fun, fun activity, game, meet, meet up, people, play, ready
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

0

2 months ago

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind
When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

0

2 months ago

activity, bring, dog, dog treat, humor, i, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, owner, people, people treat, pet, pet owner, take, treat, walk
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

0

2 months ago

brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time
At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, funeral, humor, i, man, me, observation, relationship, sit, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

31 shares on YouTube this month:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Making waves on TikTok:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Just landed via TikTok:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Trending via Telegram:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨