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"Ah, the elusive species known as the 'knowledgeable human.' 🧐 They're like mythical unicorns in a world of confused chickens. 🐔 Here's to surrounding ourselves with real-life Google search bars! 💡🔍"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

1 month ago

actually, back, Back to the Future, biff, Biff Tannen, comparison, future, humor, movie, movie reference, reference, tannen, worse, worst
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

1 month ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

1 month ago

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Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

1 month ago

breakup, ex, humor, jealousy, love, relationship, sarcasm, thinking
I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

1 month ago

back, closet, date, existentialism, fashion, humor, i, Nietzsche, nothing, outfit, preparation, stare, wear
A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

5 months ago

intrigue, little, mystery, romance, seduction, sweetest, sweetness

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Breaking via WeChat:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Just shared via Discord:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Trending via Discord:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Shared recently on Slack:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

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I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

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I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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