I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

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Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

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I’m the ick in fantastic.

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At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

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11 out of 10 women are always right.

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Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

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Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

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I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

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You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

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The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

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Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.