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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Just landed via Telegram:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Trending via Discord:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Just shared via Discord:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Making waves on Threads:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Breaking via Discord:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Spotted on YouTube:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

2 months ago

0

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌿♻️ Leonardo DiCaprio's eco-friendly efforts are not just for Mother Earth, but possibly to secure potential dating options for the future! 🌎💚 Who knows, maybe he's hoping to impress some environmentally conscious prospects with his environmental activism! 😉 #EcoFriendlyLoveGoals

conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

0

2 months ago

calling, cough, excuse, fake, fake cough, humor, i, iTunes, sick, work
Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

0

3 months ago

disaster, dramatic, humor, meltdown, personal, personal struggle, please, sarcasm, seat, self-destruction, struggle, witness
100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

0

2 months ago

baby, humor, irony, joke, pathetic, unemployment
Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

0

2 months ago

combo, crazy, expression, face, funny combo, humor, mean, mean face, personality, personality trait, resting, resting face, shy, trait
She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

0

2 months ago

cellphone, clumsiness, dropped, face, grace, humor, lady, style
Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

0

2 months ago

activity, box, childhood, fresh, fun, fun activity, jump, knees, nostalgia, play, remember, swing, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Messenger this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

65 shares on Discord this month:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

61 shares on X this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Making waves on X:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

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